Today is "Transition Day." The media is calling it "T-day" because they can't be bothered to say an entire word when a catchy abbreviation is possible. You see, today is the day that they shut down all of the Monorail Cats and move exclusively to Hovercats. I was a monorail cat driver for more than 25 years. They let everyone else go, but I have been deemed "unfireable." It would be bad PR to fire the man who saved the world. I wasn't trying to save the world. It just sort of happened. December 2012 came, and so did the aliens. They were a hive-mind species determined to destroy the human race and take Earth's resources. One day an alien was unknowingly standing on my monorail track. I wanted to do my part, so I rammed him.
Turns out he was the alien king. The central node of the hive mind. His sudden death caused an overload in the telepathic network linking all of the aliens' brains. Their heads just started exploding. They all died, and I was hailed as a hero. They had a ceremony and a parade. Women would come up and show me tattoos of my face on their... chest areas. It was overwhelming. They told me I never had to work again. Everything I needed would be provided for me. But all I wanted to do was drive my monorail cat. I wanted to help get people to where they needed to go. A lot of people didn't understand, but they respected my wishes. I was given the finest monorail cat ever trained. People would come to the cockpit asking for autographs. They would bring me pies and cookies. When the decision came to shut down the monorail cats for good, they had to find a new place for me. So they made me captain of a Hovercat.